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1. I can't reach  my license unless you hold my beer.

 2. Sorry,  Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't
plugged  in.   

 3.Aren't you the  guy from the Village People?

 4. Hey, you  must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me.
Good job!   

 5. Are You Andy  or Barney?

 6. I thought you  had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.   

 7. You're not  gonna check the trunk, are you?

 8. I pay your  salary!

 9. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a
warning, too!   

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10. Do you know  why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us
does.

 11. I was trying  to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

 12. When the Officer says 'Gee. Your eyes look red, have you been
drinking?' You  probably shouldn't respond with,'Gee Officer
your eyes look glazed, have  you been eating doughnuts?'